My father is going into a nursing home and he can’t take his dog, what shall i do? My children are allergic to it, so we can’t take it? He loves that dog. I do not want to upset him any more than he already is and i do not want to put the dog down, please advise.

About five years ago, my mother had to pay, a little monthly, to someone who sued her. She’s only 58 but she has early onset Alzheimer’s. Now, she needs all her savings to pay for her care. How can I get this large amount she has to pay to disappear—or, at least, to be reduced?

I don’t know how to say this, but I hate my life. I’ve somehow gotten stuck with taking care of my elderly mother-in-law. While my husband goes to work, I take care of her and the kids. I used to be a teacher and hate the seniority that I’ve lost because my kids can take care of them­selves. My mother-in-law cannot. If it weren’t for her, I could go back to work. My husband is tired when he gets home. But he’s tradi­tional and expects me to do housework and cook for him. I’m so frus­trated by this! Some­times I just want to walk away, but I can’t do that to my own children. How can I make peace with this situation?

My family is going nuts! My father, who is 92 and very forgetful, lives in my basement. He has an aide for eight hours every day. He likes clas­sical music and we like pop. He used to be very polite about keeping his music low. For the past month, he’s been playing the same music over and over—very loudly! The aide helps him, I think, because he likes this music too. I hate to be so angry about this because I know my father’s time is almost over. But some­times I want to take a hammer to his CD player! (My kids defi­nitely feel the same way.) Other times, I play my Celine Dion full blast. I know this isn’t good, but I’m just so angry. This is my house! I shouldn’t have to put up with this.

Yesterday, my sister’s full-time aide tripped on torn piece of carpeting on the stairs in our house. She went to the hospital and was told that she has a slight fracture on her ankle and now she’s threat­ening to sue me. Can she do this?

My senile mother used to be so modest. Now she doesn’t even wear panties. I visit her every weekend. As her son, I’m embar­rassed by this (espe­cially one time when she pulled up her skirt). What’s going on?

I am a 70-year-old widow. I’d been healthy up to this year when I fell down on the sidewalk in front of my apartment building and needed hip surgery. My recovery was very slow. I guess, I’d been in some kind of denial about my finances and other business. I didn’t want my family to be involved with my life because they live in another city and we never really got along. But that illness was a wake up call. My cousin did show up to help but my papers were a mess. When she tried to help me, she’d get angry because I wasn’t orga­nized. What papers or anything else do I need to put together (besides a will) just in case I’m inca­pac­i­tated again?

My brother put dad in a nursing home last week. I’m not very happy about this, but there’s nothing I can do. I also don’t like the staff people. They all seem sullen. I’d like my dad to be around people who at least try to be cheerful during his illness. This is very hard. I’d like to move dad to another place. I want to present this to my brother, but I want to know what I’m talking about. I don’t know anything about nursing homes. What can I tell my brother to look for in a good one?

In the recession, my mom and dad lost half of their retirement money in the stock market. They live in their condo with a full-time, live-in aide. In a way, that is less expensive than putting them both in a nursing home. (We’d all be depressed if we had to do this.) But I’m at a loss. I just looked at their financial state­ments and they’ll run out of money within two years! They are only in their 70s. What can they do to live on? These are people who worked and tried to save all their lives.

My 79-year-old mother lives in an assisted living studio apartment. All her life she was friendly and outgoing. Now, she stays to herself and won’t go to the social events in her building. She is very lonely and clings to me when I visit every week. I work and can’t be there all the time. What can I do to get her out of her apartment? Concerned son